n the very early stages of a break up there are things that you can do to increase your chances of winning back your ex and things you can do that will seriously damage the possibility.  It is important to understand that many of the things you think are the right thing are, in fact, the worst things you could do. Unfortunately, when our emotions get the best of us, we do not take the time to look at the situation and consider what the best plan of action would be.

Following a breakup, you should avoid these three traps.

1. Don't be clingy.  If you attempt to hang around your ex just after a break-up and not give them time and space on their own to access things, you will be doing a lot of damage.  Trying to cling on and making emotional demands of your ex will be exhausting for them and will only set to confirm their decision to split.  You need some space away from the relationship, too, this will give you the time you need to think about a plan of how to win your ex back. 

2. Don't tell them you will change.  Whatever happened, if you were in the wrong or them, don't promise you will change because it will sound hollow and anyway, nobody changes overnight.  When you make a promise to change, you are making a promise like a child makes by saying, "I won't do it again." Yes, you may not intend to be the same person, but if you do not make attempts to actually change, you will quickly find yourself back in the same situation you are in. Plus, it does not mean much to many people when you say you will change. You really have to tell your ex that they are right about the split, and then go away.  You may very well do some changing then, but change needs to be demonstrated and this can be done later.
 
3. Flowers are a bad idea. Advertisements from florists try to urge split-up couples to use flowers as an apology, but ignore this TV marketing advice. Do not send any make-up gifts, at least not immediately.  Flowers are to be used when you have forgotten an anniversary but for a break-up they look like desperation and won't do.  A simple rule: no gifts. If you want, you can try a short note of apology and stop there for the time being. 

It's hard to take contain yourself at first, but if you do it may help your chances for repairing the relationship in the long run.  I advise you to trust the advise here, as it is proven, and simply stay away for a while. Once you have done this in a few days you will see that you can think more clearly and will be in a much better position to win your ex back to stay.
 
If you are still in the very early stages of a break-up, do give up hope. Even if you have not been handling things well until now you can still learn how to win an ex back.
 
Ask yourself this: How much does your ex really mean to you? If you truly love your ex or have strong feelings for them, then you will want to get your head back on your shoulders and work on you plan for winning your ex back.

When you split up don't say anything. To understand how to win back your ex you need to realize that talk is cheap and it's best not to say anything. Say you think breaking up is a good idea and then walk away from the situation.

Of course there will be some words leading up to the actual point where you leave, even so, stay away from phrases like these:

1. "But, you are my only love..." and anything associated with the word love. This is not how to win back your ex. Really, it might be a bit late for this type of thing. Sure there will be a time to say it again but now it will seem hollow.

2. "I have changed..." Don't say this because you haven't changed. A couple of days is not enough time to change. People don't change that quickly. Besides, you may very well need to change something, but it is important to demonstrate this change not just say it.

3. "But I got you this or help you do that etc..." This is bringing up the past which won't be welcome now and it emphasizes debt. Emotional blackmail is an underhand tactic as it might send the message that you feel your ex must give back something.

4. "I can't live without you..." This is a blatant lie as you know you can. There are a load of other potential partners for you! Maybe you will make a choice not to win back your ex.

The time after a split is dangerous and what you do now can pull your relationship together again or make it a lot harder to reunite. If you want to learn how to win your ex back you need to avoid bad behavior. Try not to blow your chances by acting strangely.

Here is a list of 3 things to avoid:

1. Do not try to contact your ex. After splitting you must observe a period of no-contact. It sets the stage for what is to follow. If you continually attempt to text or call your ex they will be pushed away. Try not to go down this route.

Think how they will feel when the phone rings. They will always think it is you and they will remember some of the more negative aspects of your relationship. There are ups and downs in relationships, but you don't want to remind your ex of the downs.

2. Do not be needy. You cannot be demanding attention all the time from your ex. This will ultimately put pressure on them and make the situation worse. You cannot constantly cling to your ex. You cannot learn how to win back your ex like this.

Showing that you can stand on your own two feet with self-respect and dignity will make you attractive to your ex. It will start the process of creating doubt in their mind as they will think you are handling things well. Even if you are not handling things well, you have to at least APPEAR that your are.

3. Don't beg them to come back. This is sometimes the last resort after a few other methods have been tried. It seems like a natural thing. We see it in the movies all the time. However, in this situation you will seem like you are having trouble holding on to things. Hold your chin up and look tall and your ex will be more attracted to you.

If you have done any of the above things then don't worry. Stop now and plan what your going to do. With a plan you give yourself the highest chance of success.

That is how to win back an ex.